*Picture belong to Justin Douglass (World Vision Mongolia)*





I'm asking God whether should i considering take up a job that require me to fly around the world like a photojournalism or something related to shine for his kingdom Left about 1 years plus to grad and is necessary to plan everything from now or further study if i manage to earn a sponsorship ... Need to trust and lead by spirit.

So far away from where you are
These miles have torn us worlds apart
And I miss you
Yeah, I miss you
So far away from where you are
Standing underneath the stars
And I wish you were here

I miss the years that were erased
I miss the way the sunshine would light up your face
I miss all the little things I never thought that they’d mean everything to me
Yeah, I miss you
And I wish you were here

I feel the beating of your heart
I see the shadows of your face
Just know that wherever you are
Yeah, I miss you
And I wish you were here

I miss the years that were erased
I miss the way the sunshine would light up your face
I miss all the little things
I never thought that they’d mean everything to me
Yeah, I miss you
And I wish you were here

So far away from where you are
These miles have torn us worlds apart
And I miss you
Yeah, I miss you
And I wish you were here

*Dedicated to the teens who have lost their lives in road accidents*
Written by: Lifehouse

What is forgiveness? I'm couldn't forgive and forget that issue happen to me and how many times i "ni ni or or" yet I say I have forgive that person. I will never realize until papa punish me i actually wrong.

Yesterday conversation with “Ah lian” and papa really punches my heart towards his standard which is hurt in the first place yet the lesson is apply and is it too late to say sorry to them? Ah lian said “It is very painful to scold a person and the heart actually cries”.

I’m must put down my pride and humble myself to his standard. If I ever hurt you anyone of you, please forgive me and give me time to let papa mould me up ….

Isaiah 6:5 (King James Version)
Then said I, Woe is me! for I am undone; because I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips: for mine eyes have seen the King, the LORD of hosts.

Why I became a photographer

This title isn't unfamiliar but until today, i don't even have the "right" answer to reply people who have asked me since 2005 neither do i can give a right answer.

My goal is simple that is “I want to capture life story”.
That reason good enough to tell people how passionate am i? *maybe*

Recently around the world, all newspaper keep publishing about Sichuan (china) earthquake and how I wish I the photographer whom capture all these images and send back to my country to call peoples to make donation or help them. It will take more than 2 years to re-build everything and countless years for people to covercome their love one who die. What is their response to God? Is this going to happen again?
and last question ask by Jackie Chan in 2004 Tsunami disaster -- where God is?

Please pray along with me.请为四川灾民祷告

Another 4 more inspiration photos that will be
adding into the photo book

Dear papa. 2 year serving as a photographer in the church that you plant me in. How many times where anger and joy i came across which is countless because we are sinner in the first place. Sometime we have forgotten about others who are very tired with their work and etc. Please forgive us for what we have done that hurt others.

Thank you papa that you share this joy with me and how i grown up from 0 skill into 100% who know how to control the tool well and how many chances you created for me to keep earning the experience. Papa, I want to share this joy with someone understand my passion and my joy with you but will that happen one day .. Papa, forgive me .. Amen.

Yesterday night. Fraz saw this photo and say is very nice because of the angle or the color ? I'm not sure why but just send him this photo.

I share with him that i make a decision that i want to try again as last year God send Louis and Elene to stop me for moving further because it isn't a right timing and something that is still lacking so i took their advice and hold back the decision and in the mean time, just pray and seek for papa advice. Still waiting until now and hope i have the faith to take the first step but wat will be the response ?? i don't know and papa know .....

Late night, was chatting with "wen" about how ben parent and sis .. so many things to say ....

Today, ZY told me his classmate just pass away yesterday mid-night due to bike accident. I was shock and hope he overcome the incident ....

*Long Weekend part 3 (End)*

Finish most of the slides and most of the homework *BRAVO*

Sleep for 3hrs afternoon nap (today no need to sleep liao) and con't doing work until now.

Listening to Nodame orginal soundtrack with sister and delight by all the classic music.


Going out with my mom and sister to giant supermarket again ... is like i went there this morning with wl .... and i pick up a $5.00 after msg to wl .. omg .. so blessed today ... must give thk ...

*Long Weekend part 2*

5.30am

Wake up @ 5.30am and eye feel like "Huh?" and "Should i go for a run before daylight?” After a 30sec decision, i kiss my bed again because of air-con and feel so good so con't my sleep.

7.00am

Wake up again. This time i go to the toilet, shower and after that message wl to drive carefully because she is coming to my place to return me the backpack.

7.32 - 7.40am

Surf net and doing some personal stuff, i didn't realize that she have actually reply my msg so when the time i saw the message is already 7.28am. *OMG* I’m late so dash down and wait for her to come and past 2mins, i turn back and someone called me so there she is ... the :) girl is here. After putting my thing, we walk to IKEA.

8.00am

We reach the site and the security told us that breakfast serve at 9.30am and was like "HUH?" The timing we saw is wrong so we -_-||| , *_*||| but thank God that giant open @ 8am so we happily go there and walk around the store and the thing I always want to see are those racer bicycle I hope to own one but very expensive if I want to own and think back .. i got one mountain bike so quite blessed liao … nvm.

8.30am -9.25am

Sit down at the food court beside the store and chat some issues and later walk back to IKEA

9.35am

At the entrance, I saw my 2^nd uncle with his wife and was like “Shocking” and he told me that a lot of people but we don’t care because we haven’t try it before. God treat us so good, the moment I want to get the trolley, a boy ask me “u want my one fill with tray already?” A bit shock and really thank God because we save the trouble to get another one. We order the bread and sausage + 1 plate of spring roll. *Oishii*.

9.50am onwards

We chat here and there and time to go and walk around the store.

11.40am

Send her to the bus stop and say goodbye wl.

12.00pm until now ...

Time to do my projects again and must finish by today.
I’m lack of time right now.

*Long Weekend part 1*

Yesterday bible study is awesome. I’m think this is the BEST I ever came across as we really study back all the basic foundation, the old testament and many more even though is just 4 question yet one topic link to each topic asking about “What is the difference of old and new testament”. The last part is to pray for the whole chapter 8. I still remember what I pray for include lo ge and xiang one * Good memories*.

I pray for our study because how Jesus leads this small team into a helping tool.

I pray to God that our (hidden sin) need to forgive daily by Jesus Christ with sincere heart

I pray that we are not people who speak holy yet we still following the earthly way which don’t honor his name AT ALL so why we still dare to call ourselves Christian. *Fake*

I asking God to forgive me and our fellow bro/sis in Christ for our sin.

I pray to God that he allow the disaster is for a purposes and co-worker can share with them.

I pray for lo ge and xiang for their working places...Show love and kindness.

Last night receive a sms from lo ge asking me to pray for the china victim. I'm pray for a while and wonder what if i was their shoes right now; will I over come? The death rolls are expected to reach 50,000+.

26 Dec 2004. Tsunami Disaster. My unit sends some “B” company soldiers to help out the First Aid in Indonesia and did some of my buddies also on standby mode.

Silent ….

Silent for a while …..

Silent for hours ……

Tears just roll down .... Wondering Papa .. is this a sign of your coming back now?

Some called to be yr child yet doesn't do your will, will they still be safe?
So real to me right now .....

Have dinner with my team member yesterday evening. I'm miss them so much because of the crap and fun happen in changmai even thought i quite quiet and the oldest among the team but after such trip, i think i 3 yrs younger? O, just kidding.

Anyway, today math quiz is quite hard esp the Fourier series which make me think for a while before trying to solve it. I'm struggle with the result but telling myself "FIGHT UNTIL THE END".

Later, i went home with 小妹 a.k.a Cheryl because she meeting her friend at white sand so chat a while waiting for the bust to come and we came across this topic "Driving". To be honest, i don't really like to drive because personally met 2 accident before while cycling and got that kind fear in my mind and recently witness 3 accidents in a day *WTH*.

End up; we board a cab at hougang area. Our conversation con't and around nearing to exit TPE, he suddenly jam brake because he almost miss the exit lane and my heart was like "What if he jam too late, what will happen to her? Because she didn't put on sit belt". I'm just keeping praying for our safety but he almost wrack onto something for 3 times ... *Piang*. Thank God we are both safe and nothing happen to both of us. No wonder taxi always got accident.

Sis asking when is my bigggggg holiday and is on Oct after my exam which is 5 more month to go but i start to feel so dry when come to all those daily assessment and my nightmare "quiz". I'm don't mind project because is just do do do but quiz, u need to study very hard to get your 10% for that module but no choice leh, this is study path so gota "ta han" a bit. I want to go for a trip.

Trying to motivate myself for the past few weeks after his death and projects/test keep on coming which make me feel sick but suddenly i remember "him" , a character which i love it so much when i was in primary school and his name is Link a.k.a Zelda the legend. I know is just a game character but sometime can motivate a person? *Wild guess* He always do his v.best in his journey and so cool right..*omg*.





Yes. All time favourite meow but this meow no ears because his been eaten by rats. I'm love doraemon !!! He is funny, cute with a big fatty head and a "wu di"bag contain ?? stuff but he is very shy when come to female cat .. don't know why .. just shy. *Ops*




Been listening to Michael W. Smith - Straight to the heart. Even thought ASOT is always in my playlist but after read the org version of The Pilgrim's Progress, i find that been a christian is not easy and journey is very tough but the award for the crown from him is worth it.
This 2 part of the lyrics always make myself humble

Theres a road that leads me to this place
A path of love running straight to the heart

Child of god, child of light
Therell be no more lonely nights
Cause you have brightened up my life

I'm often struggles with God plan for me and bible often reminds me the son who run away from his father --> The Parable of the Prodigal Son. Ok .. story con't .....

One last thing i want to do is to pray for someone in my mind. I can do nothing for her but a simple prayer may help her ..... that the only thing i can do right now ....

This is a draft sample cover page for my photo book. Everything haven't finalize yet but will re-do it after common test because now busy with all the homework and projects with test keep on coming. I need to take a break ... plz. Tomorrow and Friday got tests again and now tue also test again .. Wat the ...

I'm going to be crazy... poor students, live in a fear *24/7*.

Finally i have change my mobile phone and is like 3 yrs already. I have use it for so long?
didn't notices that but anyway that T630 going to spoil soon so better change ...

Wonder ah wen have overcome his death and ben family members ? 14 days have pass.
I'm already overcome but how about the rest?

Some of my friends was shock when they found out that i been using pre-paid line for the past 7 years and they couldn't believe how i actually "ta han". I don't know how i did it but just did it.

I myself don't like mobile phone because of the buzzy sound ..*yuck* and please don't have a mind-set that i very "meow" or what because i seldom use and waste of money if i go for line which actually don't benfit you in the end. My understanding of mobile phone is just a device for people to look for you. Nothing special but why ppls keep changing phone like my friend *Siao lan*

The SYPA result is out. I'm didn't select for the interview and that mean, I have lost the contest also this is my last chance (age limit). Feel a bit sad but looking back to 2005 where i come back from film to digital life, i think i have did a good job already and looking forward to my career if this is my part-time job.

Is winning the contest so important to me? My feeling is YES but my mind is NO.
At least my mom just says “You think so easily to win? 5K leh? Anyway, u did well”.
A word turns my day upside down so nothing to lose but a winner always.

*Sorry papa, I have done my very best for the contest yet I didn’t win any to honor you. Maybe u don’t want me to win because u know I will be very proud of my result
Losing makes me humble than winning the contest itself. *Learn to surrender*
This is not the end but a being in photography journey.* Amen

Nice photo but not belong to me :P.

Finish the whole wedding photos and now sending for editing, repair and etc ....*2nd round*

Proud of my "Zoom mi" lens but my "nana" camera fail me again with something that cannot be done, ISO and Noise. I'm looking forward to hold 5D camera because it go the features that i need like clean image in ISO 1600 , color accuracy and sharpness.

I'm frankly don't like the colour in my church (no offense) because is too red and doing white balance correction almost kill me. I'm remember last year wedding, the photo turn out to be ugly and too redish but this time improve a bit because they change some of the spotlight into white color but your setting must be ISO 1600 with F2.8 Lens and must use flash set to 1/8-16 with a bounce card or a gary fong whaletail to do it.

Resume Within a Frame coffeetable book after my common test .. i just send to the lab and do the rest of the job for me .. don't trouble myself so much .. lol ... Wait a while, lo ge ..
This gota be a greater one .. include wedding and thailand trip photo ... haha ...

Energy to move on and to fight on .. 5 more week to battle royal.

Things need to change:

Brand New Mobile Phone
AMD Phenom w motherboard
5D camera

Decided to blog about my Thailand trip. Although i come back for 1 month plus but i still miss days over there because of the love and peace as i couldn't find anymore in Singapore. So many memories to blog about but decided not too .....

Men @ Work. Please don't think we act only.

*Wash our clothes and plate by ourselves.
Ladies, they are ready for grab but not me.









Rong, Uncle Wichian and myself in our farewell dinner

Uncle Wichian got a soft heart and always try to fulfill others
needs before himself.










Those inspiration photos that i capture is going to HD version.

I'm think there are about 10-30 of them but will do a serious touch up and make
it into a HD version quality. Will do it after exam.



















Cheryl and Myself

She is the sweetest girl i ever met from now. I'm always call her
小妹 and don't know why !? Anyway, she is a nice lady and always
listen first before re-act.










Reflection from a car mirror (Myself, Alesia and Miss Cher)

The 2 sisters in Christ i met in my trip. One is my teacher and the other
is my friend and i enjoy myself sharing about faith and testy about how i meet
Jesus again .. Well is a blessing ..Truly blessed .. Of course the shopping.
We bought ourselves all those cutie stuff .. I'm love my 哆啦A梦 and Snoopy














Under a layer of Love

If u say i don't miss this tree, u can say i lying.
Nobody will forgot about this layer of love that we paste onto the wall.
I'm hope to touch it again because my palm is the biggest. *OMG*














Goodbye my trip

We all miss them. I'm miss my rest and reflection but time up, i need to
go back and so do they ... we are home now but we will be back
Soon .. Soon .. Soon

Finally, ASOT 350 finish download at 11am and feeling "high" when come to do my editing right. Almost finishing for the wedding photo but still got some need to do "repair" because of white balance and others is add in effect.

Talking with candy jie about photography.She share with me 2 links about this Singapore whom capture nice photo in sengkang area. I'm know that area long ago but no time to go down beside trying to chio people to go but nobody because all busy with their own life issue so i have to go alone again and again which i feel "sian" also because cannot share the excitement with others.

Maybe i a bit childish by saying that but to be honest, i don't really have LOT of friends but a few true and honest buddies compare to others who is "O" all the way. Think again, my character want to share joy and happiness with others ..
Hmm .. Am i? Well .. shall not comment abt myself ....

I'm still in a wedding moody. Currently still doing E & A photos which make me feel i have improve a lot but i still left something miss out which is pre-marriage photo which i don't have a chance until now but really hope there will be a couple allow me to do it so that i can complete my own portfolio.

Once the photos is done, i still need to go for some effect editing which take a bit of time but hopefully can wrap up everything by this month as test and exam is on it way so no time to waste. Time to "shame" myself for my SYPA 2006 entry photo which is lousy and ugly.


That is my photos. Can you believe it?








VS



This is today result. Of course, this is the amazing grace by God how i grow from 2yrs ago into today result.






I'm have a feeling that i didn't been selected for the SYPA 2008 finalist round because i saw there are much more better photos than mine but if ever God allow me to win the top 6, my wish is to delicate this to my parent for their effort and money investment. The winning chances is 1/1000 percent .. So sorry, mom and dad .. i did my v.best already ....

*Half-Life*

I'm need to take a good rest for this weekend but cannot because got quite a number of projects to do right now and photos on hand too .. I’m looking forward this Saturday to go sentosa or somewhere else and become a ROCK (Rock One Corner King)... Don't want to burnout again ... My idea place must have sand + sea. *He he*

Yesterday talk with fraz. I felt he gain a lot of photography ideas from various people and that why he telling me all his idea wedding photo like this and that which sound alike like my dream project but slightly difference because my location is at Australia and near ruthie house … So cool .. The lake house …

I’m happy to have these 3 brothers (Louis, Daniel and Fraz) whom looking at me how I grow up with Christ plus I can always share with them all my joy and tears. Among the 4, I think me the naughtiest one :P but also the funniest one :O. Maybe I have learn to be joyful when I face any difficulty in my life and also the Thailand trip allow me to see the way God see in his plan

The Wide Angle Plan.

Sis birthday is coming and the surprise is on it way …*hehe*.

I'm so tired right now. After 2 day of showdown, it is time for editing and correction of photo but still have work to do so decided to do bit by bit and hope the new couple don't come and "chase" after me until end of may.

Anyway, i very happy with yesterday shooting because of the result that shown in the photo and experience taught me what to do and what not to plus this time i more daring than before. I'm don't even care what "pai say" because every event, i the hunter and myself is a boss so must "ga ga" take photo if not, who will come and hire me right? I'm love my new lens, the one call "Zoom mi" because of the element and color accuracy is better but just that not my "nana" is not a full frame camera ... still waiting ....

Upload some sample photo first .. still got 370 photos to do ...

Yesterday i finish this simple expression words delicate to him when i was on my way home.

Tears 泪

Money cannot buy the memories that u left for us.
Tears cannot tell you how much we miss you.
Words are lost, Time keep on clicking yet our friendship last forever.

What you left for us is something that time cannot buy back nor find back.
The past memories and tears you share together with us (hao, wen and bin)
How we wish we can purchase back the tears to keep it alive yet couldn’t
We know it is impossible anymore because you have walk back home.

You leave behind your legendry that we will always remember as our dear
“老大”.

In memories of my good friend who walk back home on 30/04/08
Ben Lee.

As what i have promise before, this is my 6 entry photos. Whether is good or not, i don't really bother anymore but at least i did my best compare to 2 yrs ago entry and among the 6, my favourite is actually the roller coaster because it talk about my life as up and down but someone is faithful whom like the superman keep on pushing me and encourage me all along. The 2nd one is the children and i call it "My precious childhood" as what i know from now, the world is changing so much until we lost our real childhood day... i mean it ... is gone already ..
The third one is the eagle as i remember the verse from the book of isiah ... soar like an eagle

Ok. Tonight i going down again ... pray that i still stay strong ...

i don't know what other words can comfort you right now.. but let Jesus be your source of strength from Desiree.

That is the only words i can remembered when we are chatting during msn. I'm went to the funeral and reminds myself not to cry but be strong whenever i can and thank God for the strength but somehow before i going to leave the place, the emotion just come back again yet i know he is no longer with us. I'm went to see the body and still remember how peaceful he is ...

All of us eat the pancake together and i know zhiwen and eric are very sad but i told them to stay strong because among the 4 of us, i rank no 2 (as in month and days). I have so many words to say yet i couldn't but never mind, God will hold me tight to his quiet place and take a good rest.

He send so many angels to me for the past 3 days.

*To desiree. Thank for yr sharing and thk for the call and concern. *hug*

Think today is the most entries i ever type in for my blog.

My eye was quite dry because of yesterday "water fall".

Just now, i called Zhiwen to confirm about later meeting and later got quite a number of primary school friends coming for the awaking including Weijie which also our closest friend during primary school day. I'm knew him since K1 and we same class until we finish primary 6.

As the timing clicking to 5pm which i going to buy the china pancake at Chinatown which myself, ben, zhiwen and eric love to eat during our gathering day. The store we use to go is blk 153 ang mo kio area but the owner went back to china and after 10 years of searching, finally we found one at Chinatown ... and our last gathering is 2007 sept and now ... no longer have the chance ...

I'm start to realize how i wasted the 2nd chance gathering and how precious are my friends are …Trying to overcome my sadness.

*Papa, this is the 2^nd time I receive shocking news after Auntie Betty in 1999 and how am I going to respond if there are a 2^nd one within this year? Lord, please hold me tight …
You create me to be a man and a warrior of yours. Papa, please hold my hand and accept the fact he is no longer with us …If there another chance, father please bring him home*

2.50am after my 2nd post and still cannot sleep.Thank God that he send Cheryl because she notices i still online and ask me "Haven t' sleep?" and i reply " Got something trouble me and i cannot sleep"
so we chit chat through the phone and share about what happen .... Thank you 小妹。
Your listening ear is what i need just now .. trying to accept the fact that he no longer with us

The thing i want to do now is silent and praying. Later i go and write a song/poem for him ..
the one whom we lost forever .....

Haven't sleep .. i cannot sleep too ... ok .. going to zz soon... 2.40am already.


Can someone explain to me why my photo printing quality turn to be so ugly?











S8R cost me $5 and 5R cost me $1.50 each. What the hell? It's very expensive and yucks.
Grace lab charge me S8R $3 and 5R $0.70 each. Quality is 10/10. *Bagus*
Next time go to those good shop .. not like this ... Simply sucks.











At least end of the day, i got to snap a cute pose with Miss Cher/老板娘/Cher Jie/ Sister in Christ/Cher Cher/Smart Cher/ Cute Miss Cher/ Funny Miss Cher/Lovely Cher jie.
She is so good to us during the YEP.

I'm wasn't happy with today photo exhibition because the president went to a lousy shop to do the printing and is so lousy until i just want to say "This is a piece of waste project". I'm piss off because it isn't a well done job and the printing is poor and color didn't goes by what is it means to be and worst, it cost 2 dollars more than grace lab where he print BEST quality and cheap.

Today, 2pm. zhiwen called me and u know what? One of our friends Ben Lee pass away and that moment i thought is a joke but it isn't. I’m broke down and cry whenever i remember the days we use to be and because Ben, Eric, Myself and Zhiwen are the 4 warriors in our primary school days, our relationship are like family members. Right now left 3 of us...... Sorry, I cannot type anymore …

I’m already broken down 4 times from afternoon to evening and pray that I won’t for the awaking which is tomorrow evening. I know I will but I try not to …

I just want to thank some people who keep on praying/comfort me during this moment.

Alesia, Louis, Daniel Chen, Fraser and the one and only Jesus Christ himself.

*Please keep me in prayer … my heart simply weak and lost my sign … sorry guys*